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APH RoChu: Swapped Chapter 5

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It was definitely a case of "You want what you can't have, but once you have it, you don't want it anymore" on Ivan's part. His feelings had done a complete 180-degree turn; he only thought of Yao as a neighbor, a business partner; there wasn't a desire for a relationship anymore. Ivan looked awkwardly at Yao, wondering why he had come to Russia; surely, Yao hated Ivan for what he did to him?

Yao wondered if Ivan really lost interest in him that quickly. All of those long weeks of getting stalked, and now, Ivan was just brushing him off? Yao could hardly believe it. Yao stared at Ivan hard, still searching for something, but all he saw in Ivan's eyes was confusion and awkwardness. Yao finally thought of something to say, "May I come in aru?"

Ivan looked around hesitantly, biting his lip. He looked to either side, and down at the ground before meeting Yao's eyes. As he brought one hand up to scratch his head, the other went to his hip, a slightly apologetic action. "I'm sorry, China, but I have guests over right now..."

Yao felt like he had just been shot. In the chest. By a bullet. He was not, of course, but it definitely felt like something along those lines had happened. 'Did Ivan just say I can't come in aru?!' were Yao's shocked thoughts. If Yao came to Ivan's house just last week, or a few days ago, Ivan would have gladly ushered Yao in. "Wh-what...?" was all Yao could muster to say.

"I have people here right now, so I can't really..." Ivan's voice trailed off. He sincerely hoped that Yao wouldn't catch him in his bluff; he didn't actually have people over at the moment, but he felt so guilty for what he did to Yao that he didn't think he could stand seeing him for much longer without crying and apologizing profusely.

Yao heard Ivan's voice trail off. 'Is he lying aru?' Yao wondered. Yao recalled similar reactions whenever Mei-mei tried to lie. Her voice would trail off, and she would not be able to make eye contact. Yao did not know what to say, and he wondered if Ivan was lying just so that Yao would go away.

Suddenly, Yao just hugged Ivan. He did not know what else to do, but just wrap his arms around Ivan. Ivan's warmth was somehow comforting against the cold, biting air.

Ivan was shocked at the sudden sign of affection. His heart ached; did Yao seriously not hate him? How was that even possible? Ivan felt bad that his feelings had disappeared, and he wanted them back. He knew that even just days ago, if Yao had hugged him, he would not be able to let go. But now...things were different. He gently patted Yao on the back, but there was no bone-crushing embrace, no clinging.

Yao felt the gentle pat on the back, and wondered why Ivan would not hug him. Then again, at least Ivan touched Yao at all. Yao did not know what he would do if Ivan just pushed him away.

Yao hugged Ivan tighter, as tightly as he could as if Ivan could just disappear from his sight in any moment. He buried his face into Ivan's coat, and could smell the strong scent of vodka mingled with a light, sweet sunflower aroma.

Ivan felt just plain awkward. He wanted to hug Yao back, but he didn't want to send the wrong message. He also wanted to push Yao away, but he didn't want to hurt the other man's feelings. He patted Yao's back again, trying to look for an excuse to get the Chinese man off of him.

Yao felt the patting again, but he also sensed the awkwardness. Ivan did not seem to want the hug at all. Yao slowly withdrew from the embrace and stopped hugging Ivan. His arms were soon limply hanging by his sides, and Yao had a rather dejected look on his face. "You don't want me anymore, do you, aru?" he questioned in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry, China, da," Ivan confirmed quietly. He felt silly; he had spent those long months stalking after Yao Wang, and after he had finally raped him, he didn't want him anymore. Essentially, it was like throwing away a used condom.

Yao could feel the tears building in his throat, but he kept his face relatively calm. He nodded as he folded his arms across his chest and turned around. A few days ago, he would have given his left arm for this situation, this moment where Ivan stopped stalking him. But today, Yao just felt empty.

Ivan watched as Yao walked away from him. He knew that Yao was probably feeling really hurt, but he also knew that there was no point in lying; Ivan simply lost his interest in Yao. He really did not want Yao much anymore. He had moved on, and he hoped that Yao would move on too. It would be good for both of them.

***

"Shut up, you commie!" Alfred laughed as he playfully smacked Ivan in the chest. Ivan laughed as well, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled at their inside joke. Ivan stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend, who scrunched his nose, causing his glasses falling to the tip. They each smiled and shared a kiss as Yao looked on in absolute envy.

Arthur rolled his eyes when Alfred and Ivan kissed. "All right, shall we start the meeting or are you two just going to keep snogging?" Arthur took another sip of his tea and then placed his tea cup carefully down.

Yao looked away from Alfred and Ivan, forcing his eyes to stare in front of him, at the smooth table's surface. He fiddled with his fingers a bit, trying to distract himself from Ivan and Alfred's affectionate kisses.

Francis suddenly piped up, "We could always skip the meeting and turn this into one of your so-called "snogging sessions," mon cher~!" He leaned over to try to kiss Arthur, but was forcefully pushed away.

"We need to get down to business, Francis! And when did I ever want to kiss you, you git?!" Arthur yelled.

Francis smirked as he tossed his hair back in a completely nonflamboyant way.

"Don't deny that you voudrais coucher avec moi," he said, chuckling.

Yao couldn't focus on anything else but the couple in front of him; since when did Alfred and Ivan have anything in common? Up until about three days ago, both of them would have been up in arms at the mere mention at one another. But now, they seemed happier than ever. Yao sighed; why didn't Ivan want him anymore? They could be a couple, too, a happy one...

Yao looked back up at Ivan and Alfred, and hoped neither of them would notice. Especially Ivan. Alfred was laughing boisterously, and Ivan was chuckling to himself as well. Suddenly, Ivan wrapped part of his scarf around Alfred's neck... and then Yao had to look away again. He clenched his fist from under the table, wondering why he cared so much about it.

Yao was brought out of his thoughts with the sound of a slap. He looked over to see Francis caressing Arthur's cheek, laughing idiotically like he normally did, and Arthur with a raised hand and a tomato-red face. It took him a little bit to figure out what happened, but he raised an eyebrow when he saw a bite mark reddening on Arthur's neck. Yao didn't want to know... He shook his head. It was stupid to be worrying about Alfred and Ivan so much. Yao was a handsome, young man; he could find his own boyfriend.

But he didn't want anyone else.

He wanted Ivan.

Yao sighed, and shook his head. This meeting was really going nowhere. All that was going on was Alfred and Ivan being a lovey-dovey couple, and making Yao feel more and more jealous as well as feeling depressed and upset and lonely. And then there was Francis sexually harrassing Arthur, of which Yao wanted no part of. And what was left? Just Yao sitting there with nothing to do. If this was what the Allied meetings were turning into, Yao really did not see the point of staying.

Yao stood up and pushed his chair in. None of the other four members didn't really seem to notice, which made Yao sigh irritatedly.

"I'm going outside, aru," he announced bitterly as he walked out of the room. He walked outside the building. He inhaled the warm air and wished that none of this had ever happened. He wished desperately that he could go back; he didn't care that he'd have to live in constant fear, he just wanted Ivan there.

Yao sat down on a wooden bench near the entrance walkway that was right next to a pretty little lamp post. He looked up into the partly-cloudy skies and watched as the fluffy white clouds slowly made their way across the deep blue sky, walking along at a leisurely pace. He distracted himself with this scene for a moment, but the white clouds reminded him of snow. Which reminded him of Russia. Which was Ivan.

Yao made a frustrated noise; he was turning into who Ivan used to be. He thought about Ivan all the time, and felt empty whenever he wasn't in Ivan's presence or vice versa, and he hated it. He put his head in his hands, wondering what he was doing with his life.

"Hey," a familiar voice came from behind him.

Yao jolted at the voice that sounded from right behind him. At first, he did not hear it, but a moment later he realized someone just said "Hey" to him, and it was definitely not his imagination. He was not going insane at least. Yao stood up from the bench and spun around, wondering if it was who he thought it would be.
This is a story/plot that I thought up randomly, when I was feeling sick. Strange how that works... xD; Basically, Russia is stalking China... and China does not like it at all. But then Russia loses interest in China... and you'll see what happens.

Anyways I was not feeling ambitious enough to write a fanfiction myself, so I asked my RP partner to write it with me. This is a roleplay between xStarBright483 and I.

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tanglemask1's avatar
Ivan you bastard